


Carnival of Rust

by CirillaShepard



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Implied Smut, Jealousy, angst-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8070343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CirillaShepard/pseuds/CirillaShepard
Summary: When a memory feels as real as life, it's as valid as life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER**  
> I do not own anything from the Mass Effect game series (unfortunately) but BioWare does.  
> Damn them.  
> I’m just borrowing their characters for fun when my muse grabs me.  
> ____________  
> Come and say "hi" to me on [Tumblr!](http://www.memoryandthought.tumblr.com)

_“Come feed the rain, ‘cause I’m thirsty for your love…dancing underneath the skies of lust…”_  
____________  
  
I am not prone to jealousy.  
I find it a pointless emotion – destructive and irrational.  
  
But I am not always a rational man.  
  
This is one of those moments.  
  
You are sitting on one of the tables in the mess hall, a cup of tea long forgotten next to you while you talk to the pilot of our ship and your Turian friend.  
Granted, you have known them for much longer than you have known me but I cannot stop the prickling heat of jealousy that curls its way like a snake from my belly to the base of my neck.  
  
You laugh so easily with them both. The sound is like bells, clear and bright and it makes my heart stutter.  
The Turian leans forward and murmurs something in your ear and your hand grips his arm as another peal of laughter rings out around the hall.  
  
A hiss escapes my tightly clenched teeth.  
I’ve not made her laugh like that – my thoughts are treacherous beings that whisper around my mind.  
  
I watch as you slap Joker playfully for some comment he makes and he pretends to have broken a bone before leaving you and the Turian alone together.  
He is standing too close, his hands on the table either side of your hips as he leans in again. You laugh, a hand on his chest as you push him with a wide smile on your face.  
  
I cannot watch any more.  
  
____________  
  
“Thane?”  
  
Your voice removes me from my meditations and I turn; annoyed at the ready smile I give you.  
  
“Shepard,” I greet you, as coolly as possibly, “do you need something?”  
“No,” her brow furrows, “I just thought I would come and see you.”  
  
I nod, not trusting myself to be kind while my thoughts are still pre-occupied with images of you and the Turian talking, laughing…flirting.  
You remain in the room, standing at the edge of my vision, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.  
I have not seen you unsure before and it makes me feel suddenly ashamed.  
  
“I…” you start a sentence and stop before turning on your heel and leaving the life support bay.  
For a moment I sit in silence and reflect on how I feel and how our short conversation just went.  
I cradle my head in my hands and sigh softly.  
  
I am an idiot – my thoughts have stopped fueling my jealousy and are now berating me inwardly for my folly.  
  
“EDI, is Commander Shepard in her quarters?” I ask the AI.  
“Yes, however she has notified me that she is not to be disturbed,” her smooth voice replies.  
  
I thank her and stand, leaving my room and exiting the Normandy quickly; thanking the Gods that we are still docked at the Citadel.  
  
____________  
  
For once I am well and truly out of my depth.  
As I ascend to your room in the elevator I realize just how much out of my depth I am and it makes me uncharacteristically nervous.  
  
I pause outside your door and then hesitantly palm the button to open it.  
EDI informs me, in no uncertain terms, that you are not in the mood for company.  
After a few moments of what feels like senseless arguing with the AI, she finally opened the door and I stepped through; completely unprepared for the sight that greeted me.  
  
You are dressed in black yoga pants and a deep red tank top and are currently slowly moving from one yoga position to another with a fluid grace that, although I know you posses it, still surprises me when I see it away from battle.  
  
I am content to watch for a moment as you move; your muscles shifting and a faint sheen of sweat glistening on your porcelain skin.  
  
“What do you want, Thane?”  
  
Your voice jolts me out of my reverie and I blink a few times before smiling weakly, “I need to talk to you; I need to say something about my behavior."  
  
You nod once, brusquely and sit on the floor to stretch out your legs, “go on.”  
  
“Before I do, I bought you this,” I present you with a small bouquet of the tiny fragrant flowers that I know you love, which you ignore; fixing me with cool emerald eyes. I swallow, feeling a cold knot form in my stomach.  
  
“Ah… I do not know where to start,” I clear my throat, shifting uncomfortably; “I am usually a calm, rational man that does not give in to feelings that could be destructive or cause complications. However as you and I have grown closer I have found myself at the whim of such emotions. I let them get the better of me and I apologize deeply for that.”  
  
You watch me impassively for a long moment before shaking your head and returning to your stretching. I sigh softly, not knowing what to do with myself now that I have finished my explanation.  
  
“So you’re trying to tell me that you were jealous of Garrus?”  
“Well, I would not say jealous exactly but…” I trail off, watching your eyebrow arching at my floundering, “yes, I was jealous.”  
You chuckle then, which surprises me and you stand, moving towards me slowly, “you are an ass, Thane Krios, an absolute ass.”  
  
I nod, happily agreeing with you, taking your hands in mine and gently stroking my fingers over your knuckles.  
  
“Will you let me apologize, properly, Siha?”  
  
You smile when I call you that, a slight curve to your full lips that never fails to still my heart for a moment.  
I take the smile as an assent and curl a finger under your chin, tilting your face up to mine.  
My eyes gaze into yours and I watch them change color from a light peridot green to deep and mossy; a sign that (as I have come to learn) signals that you are relaxing.  
  
I stroke your cheek softly with my fingertips and relish in the quiet breath that sighs past your lips as your eyes flutter closed.  
My thumb ghosts over your lower lip and the tip of your tongue darts out, tasting the pad of my thumb.  
  
I withdraw with a chuckle, “patience, Shepard, have patience.”  
You grumble under your breath and I lean closer, one arm snaking around your waist pulling you towards me until your body is pressed against mine and I can almost feel the thrum of your heart beating steadily in your chest.  
  
I feel as though I am a man starved of water, thirsty for your lips on mine, for your love and yet I have no desire to rush this; my heartfelt apology to you.  
  
My fingers brush lazily against your cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and continuing into your hair; tangling my hand in the luxurious silken strands as I bend my head and smudge my lips over your forehead and then your cheek.  
  
A noise, like a soft whimper and a sigh, escapes your lips as mine trace a path from your earlobe across your jaw.  
  
“Just…kiss me…damn you…” you murmur and I know you were meant to sound more authoritative but have failed utterly helplessly.  
“All in time, Siha,” I smile against the side of her neck where my lips have found themselves and your hands roam over my back and down my arms.  
  
I trail my lips across the porcelain skin of your throat and feel your pulse flutter wildly. My hand tightens in your hair and my lips nibble their way up to yours.  
  
When I finally capture your mouth with mine time just stops and we’re suspended in a timeless dance where the only sounds are our hearts beating in unison, the only scent is yours – fresh and clean, green tea mixed with something sweetly spicy and undeniably you and the only thing I feel is the lush softness of your full lips moving exquisitely against my own.  
  
I deepen the kiss, my arm pressing you even closer to me and stars dance against my closed eyelids as I lower you to your bed and cover your body with mine.  
  
As we part for breath and for me to tug off your clothes you smile up at me, eyes shining and a bright brilliant green; your fingers stroking the back of my neck.  
  
“Thane…?” you whisper against my lips, sending electric shivers across my skin.  
“Yes, my Siha?”  
“You’re forgiven,” and you pull me down to you and we start our dance again.  



End file.
